I’m so wanting to believe in people-including the weaker sex.  The tits-bated weaker sex.  The devoid of reason and control by tits, lured to their death by mermaids, trapable weaker sex.  I’m wanting to believe they are not a mistake.  Girls-next-door, church lady or stripper, it’s a continual, universal wonder.  What’s up with men and tits, woman or whatever?

I’m wondering.  Wondering and asking for four years now.  I always get answers.  So what  then?  What?

Looking at my breasts in the mirror, to me, is about as enchanting as looking at my hands without a manicure.  At least done nails thrill me like adorable outfits. I love looking at my outfits, any outfits.  Fashion, outfits, hair, makeup, yummy costumes captivate me, but not bare tits.  Tits in lift up lace or leather?  Hell yeah.  It’s the leather.  Trust me, it’s the design, the angles, the style shaped around the tits, tits in a bodice not tits themselves. For sure, not my pretty tits.  Not mine, not anyone’s.  But really, much less my own.  Breasts are for decoration, as far as visual pleasure.  That’s it for me.

Breasts and feminine beauty make me feel lovely and captivating when I see them.  I never want to touch them.  Except maybe out of curiosity, or the softness of the fabric they are tightly laced up in.  When I see it, it makes me feel: That is for me!  I am this beautiful.  Same reason I love romances.  It’s how it makes me feel about me.  It’s about me.  It’s how I feel romanced, loved, worshiped, adored.  Tits have almost nothing to do with it, except the feeling seeing them gives me that mine are beautiful.  That I am all this beautiful.

Men though, they go retarded instantly over any pair of tits.

Yeah, I don’t trust men.

There is just something sinister in their weakness for tits.

Not only chaste wifely woman think so.

Why do guys always try to get a twenty-dollar dance for  ten?

Oh, I so hate that!

It’s so insulting.

I know.  It’s belittling.

I just turn around and walk away.  I won’t even deal with that kind of customer.

I know, it just brings you down.  It devalues us as dancers.

Yeah, it makes me so mad.  How would he feel it he wasn’t paid for his work?  When ever I go for that stupid deal, I just feel not worth full price.

Yep, ruins your whole night.  They keep insulting us with stupid offers.

Grabby guys and ten-dollar guys, the worst!

I don’t know, but what’s up with men in general?

A tits-switch flips their brain cells off.

Just like that. You can’t trust it.

I want to. But.

Oh, god, I know!

I buy into Michelle O’Donnell’s view that God or Allah, or Universal Evolutionary Impulse, or Whatever,  did not make the obvious mistake. I mean didn’t make a mistake (even the obvious one) when men were created or wired or whatever, wrong.  Wrong.  A mistake.  But Life doesn’t make mistakes so….?

I mean when I love someone, any other flexed biceps are irrelevant.  There is actually only one man in the world.  This wonderful  utopia doesn’t seem to apply to men.  Even when they sing about it, cuz it’s what the stronger sex wants to hear.  Or something.  I don’t get it.

This question had a lot of chances to be asked.

Wow, this guy is not asking me to have sex for money!

Wait, he is.  Who or what do you think I am?  Pause.  I defer to the mind of “God” on this matter.  I understand there is a bigger truth I do not see.  I defiantly do not see it!.  I trust men are created right, for a reason and not a mistake. Takes deep breath. Sighs.  I need help.

No thanks for your kind offer.  I dance.  That’s all.   I only dance and the laws apply.

The question burns like the bright incandescent lamp that always goes out.

My wtf idea of men, is not the truth about men.  But I don’t know what the truth is.  I really don’t.  It’s super annoying.

No, you can’t touch.

Little Tommy, you can’t touch Little Betty that way…

But that day, that one day, everything changed.

It was a normal day. The ten dollars left in my left fitted jeans’ pocket feel good.  I had paid my bills and paid off all that debt. I’m ten dollars ahead and ready to start saving. Yeah.

I’m in the zone dressing to go out running when a glance up at my topless reflection in the bedroom mirror captivates me.

I glance, in passing, in the mirror its my tits.

Those. Yes!

Tits! It’s a instinctual wild animal reaction. My whole body shouts out rippling joy.  Joy’s crashing waves of smashing euphoria irresistible pleasure.

The mirror’s treasure, edible bliss!  I must have.  I must touch, now.  Reaching where no does not exist.  Water after dry days in desert intensity, this cool waterfall of deliciousness palm trees shade smiles all for me to swim in taste, feel with my whole body, tongue electrified, lightning stricken mind, on divine fire, missile target smitten emotions lunge at all this satisfaction just for me.  For me!

Oh wait, I better something… as I leap, one arm reaching grasping for heaven, the other reaches for the bill in my pocket. Here!  Take it!  I must touch!  It’s all I have!  Take it, please!

If I had 500, I would say the same thing. Or a thousand. Or five thousand. Or whatever…

Then.  My reflection is a reflection.  I am myself again.

The earthshaking  pleasure, in a river of chocolate I taste with every pore of my body, and the vast space of tasted mind, the ease the universal delight of dessert, tastable delights walking around everywhere in my whole world vanishes.

I don’t’ know how anyone can live, or not live, like that.

No words suffice for the world men live.

Goddam God!  No mistake made!  Question answered.  Got it.  Okay.

The intense rushing cascades of joy from just seeing and feeling, wanting to touch!

Never felt anything even remotely like it.  There are no words.  Nothing comes close.  My emotions are just as intense and delightful, but its even the same taste bud.  Indescribable heaven of physical desire.

I don’t even understand how men handle this so exceptionally well.  I, I couldn’t handle it.  I’d go around tasting everything, begging, borrowing and stealing, more, more!   What a wonderful world!  Wow God.  You knew what you were doing.  What a sexy world!

I understand now why a man would feel like he is hungry and being deprived of all this amazing food.  It sits there wasted while he starves. He steals it, of course!  What starved person wouldn’t.  It’s stupid like: “A mans steals a loaf of bread and shit goes down.”  I might even have just taken it in that moment.  No handle on restraint, no practice,  no understanding of the harm it could cause to the wonder of beauty dessert.

Hopefully “she” would have been a big enough slut to accept my ten.

Porque yo no respondo!

Because I can’t be held responsible for what I might have done!

…Men are intensely vulnerable, sweet and  lucky.

Creation is fucking awesome.

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