Game
Mommy, does a fake smile count?
Hypocrisy, fake smile, self-righteous, were words mother said in a tone that told me she is right, and fake smilers are exceedingly wicked.
Wasn’t sure what all that meant, but I couldn’t stop wondering about this song we sang, and fake smiles:
My mother told me something
Every boy and girl should know
It’s all about the devil
We learn to hate him so
Let the sunshine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
Let the sunshine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the sunshine in
So do hypocrite fake smiles always win, too, mommy?
This baffled my mother, at first. Mostly cuz six was to young for the nuances of good and evil. First she ignored me. Then suddenly she froze, gave me a bewildered look, while invisible wheels churned light into her eyes.
She stopped writing, put down the pen, stopped eyeing the phone, sat down. Then she beckoned me to her, pulled up a chair for me, waited for me to sit down then paused before she focused her passionate attention on me, for a solemn inner circle grown up talk. She captivated me with the sacred duty of the righteous and temptation and lies and evil. I listened rapped about the cunning of the devil, his fake smiles, and his cruel war on God and His people.
By the end of this intimate time capsule I know who is good, who is bad. Bristling, I brandished my inner hero’s sword eager to vanquish all the wicked once and for all. Point me in the right direction. I feel incensed. I will stop children suffering, persecution of the innocent. I’d assassinate Hitler myself, if I could, but I’ll settle for the next devil’s servant. Why didn’t a hero assassinate Hitler once and for all and save millions of lives? It couldn’t have been that hard! These new bad guys are worse than Hitler though, because they are wolves in sheep’s clothing, with beguiling fake smiles. I want to single-handed take out all these villans. I know the Bible stories and now I know who the bad guys are here and now, same as the Bible wicked. I know who and where they are and can’t wait to get at them. All hypocrites, acting like they are the good guys of course.
I was smart enough to notice that the song’s smilers might not include hypocritical ones. So I was pretty smart. But not bright enough to see the God/Devil frame of reference for what it just might be, a gaming structure. I totally bought into it.
Jumping on the trampoline with my daughter in this cool spring Texas sunshine and feeling like a kid, laughing I bust out singing a sunshine song. This particular one. I hadn’t even remembered this song in ages and ages, but when I sang it aloud to my daughter, to my horror, I found myself recommending hate as a way of life.
Hey, I was reaching for sunshine not a road to holocaust, here. This song is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. No wonder I keep ranting about good and evil, God™ as trademarkable, and the devil as arbitrary and customizable to our needs and prejudice. This kind of rubbish is stuck in here somewhere. My mind hadn’t tagged this ditty as b.s. yet. I wonder how much other rubbish is in here un-sorted, not hazard yellow corded , not yet trashed. My un-tamed poisoned frame of reference is dangerous.
This one has vicious fangs, hiding somewhere in my brain filed under “sunshine” and “open up your heart”. An invisible place holder, lurking here, the sheep clad wolf in my mind. It’s a given by this conditioning that it’s my job as a good little girl, and citizen, to hate the Devil and vanquish evil.
Now all I need to do is just fill in the blanks with Evil’s description. Pick one. Or choose your favorite not mentioned here: Jews, Indians, witch, terrorist, religious fanatic, heathen, unbeliever, Philistine, homosexual, evil person, Muslim, American, apostate, criminal, negro, _______ … I should by truth and right bring just punishment to whichever my upbringing tells me to fill in the blanks with. It’s my right and duty. It’s the heroic thing to do.
Not to long ago, Jews filled in the blank for almost the entire world, not just Germany, like we choose to remember. For our joy in Western shows and cowboys and Indians, Indians rightly filled in the just-kill-em-slaught, of evil. Evidently, somewhere I must still have a lynch em, exterminate em, and the world will be better for it, slaught. Who will I fancy to fill my free slaught with next? Give me the right propaganda and I’ll give you my slaught to fill. Then I’ll support exterminating whomever is put in my evil= ________ slaught.
“God”, good guys = ___________ , must be a blank slaught, too. What if it is a place-holder that could work the same way as the devil place-holder? Rather like any game with rivals. It takes at least two to play any exciting sport. Yeah, I want the game. I like games, too. But I don’t have to hate the kids playing for the other team. Do I?
They know they are the good guys and I am the bad guys, just as sure as I know what I know. They are just as committed to good, truth and justice. Just as willing to fight and die for it. They have their own lovely sunshine ditties, and loving mommies who know without a doubt who the bad guys are and what duty bound honor dictates we must do to them.
waywardspirit 
There isn’t a fake bone in my body and as a result people think I am stuck up; I just find the fakery dull.
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When you are smart and secure in yourself and know what you want, fakery is unthinkable and like you say, so boring. Boring on the giving and recieving end. Boreing is a sin. ; )
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Great post. Reminds me of the Jim Carey Movie Liar Liar. I’m with you.
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*Smiles and Heads to Netflix for Liar Liar*
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Watched Liar Liar. It seems lies do most harm to the lier herself. Then, harm to any who follow along, belive or are involved.
The liar in this movie believed it was a good idea to lie, till life showed him what he lost for it.
Yet the differece between this movie and the rest of us is the he knew he was lieing. His family, even the kid knew he was lieing and chose to act accordingly. We on the other hand, don’t know we are lied to and don’t know we belive and live the lie of we are good and right with God and they are bad and wrong with the Devil. Cuz no matter what two groups are fighting, both sides belive: We are God’s good right. Everyone believs this. So there is no such thing as evil in general, I guess, cuz it’s mostly a matter of opinion, that gives licence to harm.
Even a person who hurts other people, matters, becouse people matter more than ideas. Both harmed and harmer matter. And no I don’t know what to to to fix the world, just museing.
Life shows us.
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Thoughtful…thank you.
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I love the idea of the “place holders” to make it harder to think as you grow. Nice image.
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Yeah, what would be the use of a game if we could see right through it or it didn’t captivate us or we didin’t totally buy into the rules. This is the best game ever. I’m glad you are in it, too. It’s nice to feast on what you think.
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Technically I suppose I am in the game; but only as a stretcher bearer to help off the walking wounded & to offer the coup-de-grace for the less fortunate who will not be featuring in future fixtures..
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OK. It is late at night, and now I wonder,,,, (days & comments later) Does your god tell you about this stuff, or are you born with it in your DNA? Either way, I am jealous.
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Oh!
Hi Tim,
We are all our own god and there is some existential relationship going on as well I suppose, or so many people wouldn’t experiance such. I experiance. Yet, I don’t think, anymore, that becouse I get inspired and experiance this “being in love and loved” existential thing that may be attributed to God, that I am right. I’m just on my own right path, while often wrong.
For your question, it’s DNA. I think cuz answers seem to flow from questions easily for me, from my first memories and it’s often a religious experiance that has nothing to do with religion. Religion, that I learned by desprate trial and deadly error is a maze I needed to find my way out of, not a place to build a home. I guess religion as organized practice is good like school is cool to give basics to move on to thinking for one’s self. Libeal arts workes better for me. But practice of prayer is fun and fills a hunger and meditation makes inspiration flow smooth. It’s not a luxury, it’s required for me. Something I learned about mysef by not doing it , and life not working at all for me. My family for generations thought it was God. There seems to have been some kind of prophet or other in the family for seven generations. I don’t subscribe, to “God” now, and it was this way for me before I was old enough to subscribe to god and religion. So, DNA. Thank god pardon the pun, there are more frames of reference to experiance this besides religion. Ancestors didn’t have electriccy or lap tops and all they had to go by was, oh, I must be a phrophet. I guess they became Mormon’s cuz that religion expected gifts and was all about modern prophets. My ancester was the founder of the Mormon church, Joseph Smitht’s bosom friend and confidant. I guess they must have had something in common. So, yeah, again, DNA. And that was altogether to much information. In modern times I am easily a weirdo, and often I feel like one. Yet, I love to wonder and question. Not alowed in religion.
Sometimes I feel like that church was designed as an obstical course. I’m the quintisential Mormon, cuz I got through it and out the other side only partly digested. : ) Just what my particular extreme right extream everything version was designed for, if there was a design. Taught me I am most likely wrong about everything I belive right now, and developed and repeatedly tested disearnment (I hope) and leveled my b.s. detector to a super power, I think.
I value your opinion higher than I let on. I’m delighted and reileved and other thoughts and emotions not grabbed into words yet that you appriciate this cursed gift. Cursed, but it makes me come alive.
There are few things as plesant to me as talking with super smart people, whom I get to wonder about and suspect are gods.
Human mermaids delight and inspire me too. ; )
It’s afternoon here.
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Nice blog thanks foor posting
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